Anyone who knows me knows I am a horror movie fanatic.

I routinely sport my Fangoria Weekend of Horrors tee. The office in my home is decorated with a number of autographed lithographs from Kyra Schon (Night of the Living Dead) to Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street series). And over the years I've acquired enough bootleg grindhouse and B-movies that would have piracy lawyers salivating. Growing up, I've loved all the classic slasher and monster films with Friday the 13th being no exception.

Upon hearing of this re-make's release, my first question was how the writers were going to focus more on machette-weilding, hockey mask-donning Jason Voorhees and take the attention away from his mother who played a primary murderous role in the original. All in all, I was pleasantly surprised with the way they handled this dilemma.

With the opening scene set in 1980, the film begins with a quick bit of history. Jason Voorhees was a tormented young boy who had drowned at Camp Crystal Lake. After rising from his watery grave, he and his vengeful mother wreak bloody havoc on the camp for allowing him to drown.

Flash forward to present day, and we find a group of typical post-teen/young adults who venture out toward Crystal Lake to harvest dope. This drawn out portion of the film contains all the gratuitous sex, drugs and rock n roll (in the form of Night Ranger's Sister Christian -- hey, I'm not complaining) you could ask for. For a second, I was caught wondering what the record is for the number of times the word "weed" has been used in a half-hour time frame. Nevertheless, this scene did include a snicker-worthy Blue Velvet reference regarding Heineken vs. Pabst Blue Ribbon which I enjoyed. Through these mild hormone-induced, drug-crazed sexcapades, campers and movie-goers alike are introduced to the incredibly mammoth Jason Voorhees (Derek Mears). I have to give credit to the casting director for this one as Derek Mears is scary enough even without wearing a potato bag or hockey mask over his face.

Flash foward (yes, again) another month and a half later where we find rugged motorcycle loner Clay Miller (Jared Padalecki) searching the Crystal Lake area for his missing sister, Whitney (Amanda Righetti) -- one of the campers that had previously encountered Jason. He crosses paths with a forcibly recognizable racially diverse group of douchebags headed to a family cabin for a weekend of booze, sex, and, of course, more of that weed stuff. Immediately, there is some tension between Clay and group leader Trent (Travis Van Winkle). It was around this time that it was also brought to my attention that fart jokes are indeed still funny. Ultimately, no matter how annoying, tough or horny, these characters are, they'll be forced to get along in order to survive Jason's wrath.

Friday the 13th doesn't venture very far outside of the realm of slasher fundamentals, which is just fine with me. I got basically what I expected of a movie that won't be winning any Oscars any time soon: on-par acting, several nude scenes, and some humorously grotesque murders. My main gripe with the film is a somewhat questionable storyline. The group of adolescents venture out to a large, expensive family cabin; this isn't some run-down uninhabited campsite or abandoned shack. Obviously, the place has been used routinely -- why is it Jason decides to go after these kids now? Also, Jason kills a local resident. This is a guy who has presumably lived in the area for quite some time. Does Jason murder him simply because he had brief dialogue with one of the main characters? This bit just doesn't add up.

Regardless, the film is watchable at the very least and did contain some of the gore that brings a smile to my face. In the spirit of Doug Benson's movie reviews in eight words or less, Well, at least Willa Ford is water-skiing topless.