Microsoft recently gave out several laptops to bloggers loaded with the new Windows Vista software, and I was not one of them. What gives? Are you looking for a bad review from me?

Here are some reasons that you should have sent ME a shiny new laptop:

1. I accept bribes, unlike some of these other bloggers who are complaining about you giving them cool new toys.
2. My site is indexed in Google News and MSN Newsbot, which means I have global reach.
3. I've been using and buying your products for almost 20 years. Surely that must count for something?
4. I own some of your stock. Isn't it time to give back? This paltry dividend isn't doing it for me anymore.
5. I asked Santa for a new laptop, but even he didn't send me one. You have more money than Santa, don't you Mr. Gates?

I'm giving you this opportunity to make amends, and to start the New Year off on the right foot. I'm sure it was just a simple oversight or a computer error (something I see on my Windows based PC all the time). If you are out of laptops, I'll take a Zune or any other new products that you have laying around of comparable value. I am anxiously awaiting a response, and a package in the mail.